All yer medals, all yer pots and all yer pans

World exclusive, apart from it being on youtube that is, in the blogosphere then perhaps.

Your humble blog gives you this trailer for 'The Damned United'.

It's a Shay

Kristal yields to no man (or woman, beast, animal, mineral or vegetable) in it's admiration to the (regrettably) soon to be departed Newcastle United goalkeeper Shay Given. The finest 'keeper in the English Premiership who must surely have a chiropractor on speed dial from carrying the Magpies all these years.

It would be a profoundly churlish person that begrudged Given from exiting from the odious bedlam and intergalactic waste of time that currently resides over St James Park and this writer only wishes that he was starting his sterling work afresh at a more prestigious employer such as Arsenal, Celtic or Liverpool. Manchester City instead will be processing the Irishman's wages.

The main quirk of this transfer is why Citeh, for all their grandiose proclamations of immeasurable wealth, have all of a sudden, transmogrified into Dickensians guttersnipes and refusing to offer the Toon a respectful and accurate valuation of Mr Given's worth. 

Initially the fee put forward was £7m with NUFC responding, correctly, with a demand for £10m. This still seems short of the mark in this blog's esteem towards the 'keeper.

Yet Manchester City spending around £15m with abundant glee for the use of Craig 'would start a fight in an empty house and proceed to ask said house to step outside to continue said fight' Bellamy and also equally ecstatic to squander a further £19m on Nigel 'not even a household name in his own house' De Jong.

That Mark Hughes and Garry Cook are content and contemptuous to act tighter than a snare drum, to be so transparent in a fiscal fiasco of their own making in this transfer is baffling. 

Best to leave this post with wise words from Zlatan Ibramhimovic, the Inter Milan striker, who in a spot of Kaka-baiting, when asked whether he would be tempted by a move to the Middle Eastlands replied "I don't know, you would need to ask God first."

Manchester City might not be signing him, or Kaka or Jesus, but even if they did, they would probably haggle with the Son of God's agent for the minimum pieces of silver they could get away with.

Sweet FA for FA Cup in Scotland

The fact that stv (their lower case, not mine) are not screening either live matches or even highlights of the FA Cup led this blog to write to the station to explain themselves. This was their reply:

"stv has chosen not to purchase the rights to English FA Cup football.
Although we are part of the UK-wide ITV Network, we are an independent
commercial company funded entirely by advertising and sponsorship. The
decision not to acquire the FA Cup rights is a commercial one. We will
instead invest in programming which is more relevant to Scotland, which
we will roll out in our 2009 schedule.

We hope this response explains the situation and we thank you for taking
the time to get in touch."

So the money will no doubt be re-invested into programming consisting entirely of repeats, compliations and parochial nonsense instead because how could anyone in Caledonia be interested in the world's oldest football club competition?

Let's raise a glass of haggis-infused uisge beatha with a neeps chaser as we feverishly anticipate imminent wall to wall screenings of Weir's Way, The Steamie, and Taggart. Do Glen Michael and Paladin run t'ings out Pacific Quay way? The Famous Grouse guzzling, shortbread riddled and Lysergic acid diethylamide influenced decision making of our national broadcaster would certainly point to it not being an impossibility.

The somewhat intimidating Rafa

Humblest of apologies to you all in this year of two hundred and nein. A combination of writer's block, utter confusion, ill health and alcoholism have provoked the radio silence. But we are back, back, back in black. Shall we dance?

This blog, while always finding Sir Fergie very entertaining, is sticking up for Rafa Benitez. Initially when this blog witnessed the above broadcast on Sky Sports News, the volume was turned down in the pub we were in, The Vale. The vidiprinter below summarised Senor Benitez's press conference and kristalseventeen concluded that it must be a Keegan circa 1996 meltdown.

Having watched it sober, it is quite straightforward. The Liverpool manager brings up some valid points in what he is saying. Hell mend Mrs Rafa if there is a dispute in the Benitez household.

"On January 11th, the 12th and today, I did the dishes. Ah, theese is FACT. I am the only one who goes unpunished for not taking out thee binz."

This is a brief posting, but it was only meant to be a dip back in the waters. Plus a shave is needed. A bit like Rafa to be honest.

Fare ye well and never walk alone.